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Devaluing Yourself… Just Don’t Do It!

By on May 30, 2014
devaluing yourself

Nichole White, creator of the Detail Your Ideal Male concept, is a survivor of multiple poor relationships and one that led to a happy marriage. I would like to share some of her insights that show you how to avoid moochers, cheaters, and abusers to make your relationships work for the long term.

The danger of devaluing yourself…

There’s one thing you must not ever do when dating. But before I tell you what it is, here’s a quick activity for you.

Take a large denomination bill out of your purse, say a $100 bill, or even a $50 or $20 if you have either of those. The biggest amount you have handy.

Now take this bill and crumple it up. Really crush it. Now drop it on the floor and step on it. Stomp on it if you’ve got some aggression to get off your chest.

Now, pick it up and smooth it out.

Does this bill still have value? Can you still go and spend it at a local store? Sure you can!

It’s a bit dirty, maybe a bit torn, and it’s feelings are probably hurt, but it’s perfectly good.

That’s you. No matter what you’ve been through, what others have said, or done, you still have immense value. You may have been bullied a bit in your own life, told you weren’t any good, or even abused, but you’re still important.

So why do I mention that? When dating the worst mistake I’ve ever seen a woman commit when dating is devaluing herself and forgetting her worth. I hear this phrase a lot: “I don’t think I’m worthy of somebody good so I settle for whatever I can get.”

Devaluing yourself usually leads to desperation and settling for a guy who is in no way your equal or a good match. Sometimes it even leads to getting into a relationship with an abuser… either physical or emotional. A poor match often leads to a miserable existence for one or both partners involved.

How do you keep from devaluing yourself while dating?

Don’t be afraid to walk away. Ever heard the negotiation tip about not being so desperate that you can walk away from the table if need be? Dating is a negotiation of sorts and that advice works well.

In fact, not only do you have many choices other than the guys that treat you like crap, you have the ultimate trump card in your back pocket… you can also be with NOBODY and still be fine. It’s okay to be single. Ask the guys..being single can be A LOT of fun if you just let it.

Don’t take this so seriously. Yes, dating and marriage are serious because you could potentially end up with the wrong person and end up unhappy. But this is one of life’s many experiences and even if it doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world. You won’t die. And since you won’t die, you might as well have fun with this phase of life just as you would with any other.

Remember who you are. You’re a great woman who deserves a great man, nothing less. If someone has a problem with you being confident, yet choosy, that’s their problem, not yours. Your life is yours to live without devaluing yourself and your worth and no one will suffer from the consequences of bad choices but you. Make your OWN choices, not someone elses.

Look for the man that respects you for your worth,  and you’ll never make that dating error ever again.

If you need direction gaining confidence and your own value why not check out Real Women, Real Love and see how easy it is to come from a place of self love.

About Moyra Matson

Finally... a site that is “all about you”! Double My Dating has been designed by us, for you, to do exactly what it states... double YOUR dating opportunities. If you are tired of : sitting on the couch night after night... struggling to find a suitable partner for functions... having no one to share the highlights of your day with... having no emotional and physical support from a “significant other”... then, Double My Dating is for YOU! Targeted to the 30 plus age bracket (but not restricted) our Blog is an upbeat, no holds barred exploration of the roller coaster of relationships. Designed to empower and motivate women who want to make good choices, have fun and most of all, fall in love.

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