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First Date Conversation

By on May 7, 2014

The first date can be one of the most exciting but nerve-racking experiences. A good first date can be exhilarating with a range of emotions from anxiousness to joy. However, first dates can be fraught with a number of problems if you are unprepared. One of the best ways to prepare for a first date is by knowing how to keep and hold a good conversation.

There are three important skills to be good at first date conversation.

•Be able to start a good conversation
•Be able to continue a good conversation
•Be able to transition from one to the next good conversation

Find common ground

The first key to starting a good conversation is to find common ground. Unless your first date is a blind date you should have a good understanding of their basic interests. Did you meet at work? You know something of their professional background and achievements. Don’t talk about work but it would be fine ask your date  how they got to where they are in life. Ask about their education and experiences. The key is not to spend too long dwelling on the boring parts of education or any unexciting career experiences they have had. Focus on their best achievements in school or most rewarding times at work. Draw out those things they are most proud and excited about. During these first conversations look for other areas of common ground and ask questions to transition to those topics. Continue to search for common ground throughout the first date and you will find it.

Pick up on his signals

As you have these conversations during your first date look for signals about what they are most excited about. Are they most animated and talking fastest while discussing college days? This is a good sign their college experience was passionate and exciting for them. Ask more questions and try to find out why that is. People love to talk about the “why” much more than the “what” of their experiences. The “why” will tell you much more about the person than the “what”. What type of questions do they ask you? This will tell you what they interested in. If their questions all revolve around sports and athletics you can be sure they are interested in those topics. If questions all revolve around video games and TV shows or pets that will tell you what they like the best.

Understand them better from small hints

Be on the lookout for small hints and signals about what they are interested in. Does he drive an SUV with the roof rack on top? He probably likes to bike, surf, or kayak. Is he sunburned after each weekend? He probably likes to be outdoors and active on the weekends. Is she wearing killer heels and an awesome outfit? She probably loves to shop and pamper herself. If you are able to find common ground, pickup on signals, and understand small hints you will be able to engage in killer conversation on your first date.

It’s a two way street

Just as you are making an effort to get to know your date, your date should be doing the same about you. The conversation needs to be two-sided. If one of you is stealing the limelight and doing all the talking there is something amiss. If your date doesn’t ask you any questions that should tell you something pretty quickly. It’s time to move on as, no questions equal, they are just not that into you.

It’s a numbers game

Don’t be offended if you first date doesn’t work out how you had anticipated. Meeting someone in the flesh is the all time best way to establish if there is any chemistry. Without chemistry nothing of any substance will ever eventuate. Remember it is a numbers game. Some of us are just destined to be friends and are not matched to a more intimate relationship. There’s nothing wrong with that. If you view your dates as a way of firstly making friends it will help you have a lot more fun and alleviate too much expectation.

Always believe something wonderful is about to happen!

If you are still anxious about handling conversation on a first date check out Conversation Chemistry. This will have you fronting up better prepared than ever.

About Moyra Matson

Finally... a site that is “all about you”! Double My Dating has been designed by us, for you, to do exactly what it states... double YOUR dating opportunities. If you are tired of : sitting on the couch night after night... struggling to find a suitable partner for functions... having no one to share the highlights of your day with... having no emotional and physical support from a “significant other”... then, Double My Dating is for YOU! Targeted to the 30 plus age bracket (but not restricted) our Blog is an upbeat, no holds barred exploration of the roller coaster of relationships. Designed to empower and motivate women who want to make good choices, have fun and most of all, fall in love.

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